Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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