I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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