we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
how drunk are you?
Several
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
