Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
