well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
