I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize