Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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