what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
