just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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