he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
