How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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