Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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