matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
