i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
