I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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