I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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