it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
