My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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