Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
