is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I need moral support for this bender
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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