Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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