you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
