At least make sure they are 18
Why
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
