I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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