I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
