DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
