Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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