It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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