oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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