Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
