I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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