dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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