She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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