Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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