Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Are we still banned from the library?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
