He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
