K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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