i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
