found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
