I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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