id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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