she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
