can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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