No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How external is "for external use only"?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
