so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
