So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
