we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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