he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
