dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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