i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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